Motherless and Fearful

Let’s Talk!

About a month ago, I listened to a radio interview of Canadian author/businessman Tom Watson about his book Man Shoes. This hardcover is an autobiography in which he details the key life-changing events in his life. Watson stated that he survived child abuse, upheaval, and 13 foster homes by the time he was five years old. He hopes that Man Shoes will serve as an inspiration to others to become better men, husbands, and fathers.

Watson stresses that being a parent is a great responsibility, and he was simply lucky to have found a stable home by the time he was five years old. This comment made me wonder about the impact of such physical and emotional instability at such a young age. Also, how does this kind of traumatic childhood affect a person’s future behaviour within romantic relationships, and what are the treatments for this trauma?

Based on Statistics Canada, family violence against children and youth has increased by 23% between 1998 and 2007. A 2008 Public Health Agency of Canada study revealed that neglect made up 34% of all youth-protection substantiated investigations. These statistics are only the reported cases and not the total number of maltreatment cases. According to the same study, neglect in young children requires more medical treatment than children who have suffered physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

Psychology professor Robyn A. Marquis reported that children experiencing neglect are very young (up to five years old). The primary caretakers are often low-income single mothers who are substance abusers suffering from a major mental disorder and are themselves victims of spousal violence. Physically abused children have a greater difficulty adjusting to foster care but their neglected peers are more likely to be returned to foster care after a short time spent with their biological parents.

Psychologist Susan J. Zuravin states that child abuse and neglect are two different forms of maltreatment.

Zuravin defines physical child maltreatment as “the commission of behaviour that may or may not intentionally cause harm to a child”. Some examples of abuse are hitting with a hand or object, punching, burning, shaking, kicking, and choking. On the other hand, child neglect is “the omission of a primary caregiver’s behavior that places the child at risk for being harmed or injured”.

Maltreated children are often removed from their parents’ homes and placed into foster care. Sociologist Diane M. Morrison argues that this move may stress the child/parent bond and further disrupt the development of trust and intimacy. This situation may lead to the development of an attachment disorder in the child. This type of disorder is an adaptation to an unhealthy environment or a post-traumatic stress disorder of infancy and toddlerhood.

According to Psychiatrist John F. Alston, attachment is “a composite of behaviours in an infant, toddler or young child that is designed to achieve physical and emotional closeness to a mother or preferred caregiver when the child seeks comfort, support, nurturance, or protection.” Secure attachment is crucial for healthy social and emotional development. Through this kind of attachment, the infant learns to trust, intimacy, affection, mutually supportive relationships, high self-esteem, independence/autonomy, emotion, and impulse management as well as resilience when faced with difficulties.

The right hemisphere is the non-verbal part of the brain responsible for the regulation of our emotions. More specifically, the amygdala, a small structure deep in the sub-cortical temporal lobe, is the seat of strong emotions such as rage and fear (see picture below). When the amygdala is hyper-reactive, the affected person is living in constant fear.

Psychiatrist Allan N. Schore explains that infants learn self-regulation of their emotions through interaction with their mothers. Healthy interactions build neuronal density in the infant’s brain, more specifically the right prefrontal cortex. Unfortunately, the right prefrontal cortex is the brain area most affected by neglect, physical, and emotional abuse. This particular area of the brain inhibits the activity of the amygdala where fear memories are stored.

Maltreatment at a young age causes effects such as a hyper-aroused central nervous system, hypervigilance, and elevated stress hormones release (i.e., cortisol). These children are self-centered and do not think logically. They do not feel safe in the world and their main concern is to avoid pain. They feel unloved and abandoned, and their anger is often self-directed. They usually appear superficially charming, insincere, and distant. They do not trust themselves and others and their feeling of powerlessness may prompt them to develop survival skills and become calculating and devious.

On a spiritual level,  a mother’s love may be the closest equivalent to unconditional love on this plane of existence.  A healthy mother loves the very being of her child regardless if the child is well-behaved, beautiful, intelligent, or talented.  The experience of being loved unconditionally by our birth mother creates a solid foundation upon which we are able to love ourselves and others unconditionally.

Alston states that children with attachment disorders often suffer from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, distractibility, aggression, mood swings, and insomnia. Without treatment, these children often develop many antisocial character traits as adults.

Healthy romantic relationships are based on mutual trust, honesty, respect, understanding, compassion, and empathy. If one or both partners suffer from an attachment disorder, it is easy to predict serious issues in the relationship.

If someone is fearful, s/he will be self-centered and focused on satisfying their needs, even if it means hurting their partner. The person may intellectually understand that there is a problem, but since s/he lacks the brain structures to inhibit their fear center (i.e., amygdala), the person may be unable to stop the unhealthy behaviour. Although the person with an attachment disorder may desperately want to feel safe with a partner, their actions become a self-fulfilling prophecy by repulsing a healthy mate and confirming that people are untrustworthy and the world is unsafe.

Different treatments are available for this type of disorder.

According to Alston, antipsychotic medication and mood stabilizers are the typical medical treatments for children with attachment disorders. Psychotherapy is often combined with medication. However, there are less conventional, yet quite effective treatments that have emerged in recent years.

The Forget Me Not farm, founded in 1992 by Carol Rathmann, MA, Registered Veterinary Technician, has treated more than 3,500 children. The farm is located in Santa Rosa, California, and offers an award-winning year-round program that is nationally recognized and free of charge. Abused/neglected children and at-risk youth are taught gentleness, restorative touch, healthy attachment, appropriate physical/emotional boundaries, empathy and mutually nurturing relationships through interactions and caring for plants and farm animals. The volunteers who work at the farm are meticulously screened and educated about the special needs of these children. It is a rare opportunity for these children to have a trusting and stable relationship with caring adults.

Another very effective treatment is neurofeedback combined with traditional psychotherapy.

American Psychotherapist Sebern F. Fisher successfully used neurofeedback training on a fifty-five-year-old man named Lyle who suffered all his life from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and an attachment disorder. The training consisted of operant conditioning of the frequencies at which the brain fires.

Ultimately, successful therapy depends on emotion regulation. The patient is taught to correct false beliefs that trigger negative emotions, and fear may be the primary emotion that the patient needs to manage.

The good news is that according to Schore, the prefrontal limbic cortex, (more than any other part of the cerebral cortex) retains its capacity for change throughout a person’s life. Lyle is a good example of the brain’s plasticity. At the beginning of his brain training, he stated “I am running on pure fear”. Seven months later, he was able to better understand himself when he commented “I have nothing to work with inside me because I didn’t really have a mother”. During his last session, Lyle said “What I am becoming is wonderful”.

The percentage of reported maltreated children in Canada is growing. Although emotional, physical, and sexual abuse profoundly affects children, neglect seems to create the most long-term damage. The reason may be that neglected children are often infants who are most in need of an attentive mother at this critical stage of development. Neglectful mothers often have too many serious issues (i.e., substance abuse) to contend with the needs of a baby.

If left untreated, an attachment disorder can have profound emotional, physical, psychological, and social consequences. For instance, healthy long-term romantic relationships may be impossible to sustain. However, there are effective non-mainstream treatments such as the Forget Me Not farm and neurofeedback. Hopeful, just like Lyle, more traumatized children can stop being fearful and say “What I am becoming is wonderful”.

Literary Truths

Here is how neurofeedback works (the patient is referred to as a man):

• The patient sits in a chair and sensors are strategically placed on his scalp.

• He is facing a computer screen and is given a remote that controls the action of characters in a video game on the screen.

• His brainwaves control what the characters on the screen can do.

• The patient learns to control his brainwaves which in turn enables him to retrain his brain and change his brain structures.

• The setting for what kind of brain waves will allow him to move the characters on the screen can by changes to a lower one as he becomes more proficient at controlling his brain activity.

• This kind of training can go on for many months and is good for a variety of mental disorders such as learning disabilities, anxiety, depression, and attachment disorders.

• Children and adults can easily learn this technique and there are no negative side effects.

Truth in Motion

References

“Abuse in childhood puts adults at higher risk of depression.” Nursing Standard 21.24 (2007): 15.

Alston, John F. “The Complex Issue of Attachment Disorders.” Psychiatric Times 24.12 (2007): 46.

Child Maltreatment in Canada

Child Neglect Most Common Form of Abuse: Study.

Fisher, Sebern F. “Neurofeedback, affect regulation and attachment: a case study and analysis of anti-social personality.” The International Journal of Behavioral Consultation and Therapy 3.1 (2007): 109.

Levy, Terry, and Michael Orlans. “Attatchment disorder, antisocial personality, and violence.” Annals of the American Psychotherapy Association 7.4 (2004): 18.

Marquis, Robyn A., et al. “The relationship of child neglect and physical maltreatment to placement outcomes and behavioral adjustment in children in foster care: a Canadian perspective.” Child Welfare 87.5 (2008): 5.

Picture 1

Rossiter, Sherry. “Forget me not farm: a healing place.” Annals of the American Psychotherapy Association 9.1 (2006): 30.

Watson, Tom. Man Shoes. Tonbridge: Advantage Media Group, 2011.