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In her brief article titled “Empathetic Vibration”, American scholar Emily Ochoa remarked that “the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference”.  I think this statement points to a truth that is rarely explored.  Therefore, I wanted to examine the concept of empathy and gain a better understanding of its impact on human relationships.

American psychiatric David R. Hawkins introduced to the world the controversial concept of levels of human consciousness. According to Hawkins, people are at a different level of awareness and this difference impacts how we understand and view the world.

The level of Unconditional Love particularly intrigued me because, at that stage, people report a stable state of deep Joy.  According to Hawkins, the hallmark of the unconditionally loving individual is compassion, and interestingly before people can feel compassion, they must feel empathy.

“Empathy” comes from the Greek word empatheia meaning “physical affection, passion, partiality”. American psychologist D.M. Berger defines empathy as “The capacity to know emotionally what another is experiencing from within the frame of reference of that other person, the capacity to sample the feelings of another or to put one’s self in another’s shoes”.

Furthermore, psychology professor Jeanne B. Funk Ph.D. explains that empathy is essential to the process of moral reasoning and it grows when we are exposed to positive social experiences.

According to biochemist Dr. Alfred Gierer, empathy motivates people to act in altruistic ways because by putting one’s self in another’s shoes” we not only gain a more accurate view of other lives and circumstances but also your own. This ability to see outside the parameters of one’s own life is the result of using various parts of our brains.  Moreover, the emotion of empathy is controlled in the brain by the amygdala and altered by oxytocin (the bonding hormone).

American psychologist Nancy F. Banstra observed that when we experience true empathy for someone, there is often an emotional, sensory, and bodily response. For example, a sensation of pain may be felt from seeing a hurt person, although the pain may be different from what we would be experiencing if we were to be injured ourselves.

In order to empathize with someone, we need to give them our undivided attention. Moreover, we need to suspend judgment and be able to tolerate difficult feelings without being overwhelmed by them (i.e., crying with the person).

People who are treated empathically tend to feel deeply understood and much less psychologically threatened. Therefore, empathy promotes bonding and intimacy between individuals.

Are women more empathic than men?

According to psychologist Maria Dolores Frias Ph.D., many published studies have indicated that women have greater communication skills, and men have better visual-spatial and mathematical abilities as well as being more physically and verbally aggressive.

Frias argues that when it comes to empathy, females are generally more emotionally and cognitively empathic than men, and these differences are noted even in primary school.  This difference in empathic ability is greater as girls and boys reach adolescence (age 14). Besides biological differences, gender role orientation (what behaviours society expects from women versus men) may play a role in this difference in the display of empathy.

Psychology professor Jeanne B. Funk Ph.D. observed that continual exposure to screen-based (i.e., television) media violence desensitizes people to violence as it is presented as a justified means of responding to challenges.  The neuropathways of empathy are inhibited by repetitive exposure to violence, which is a great concern in Western society.

MIT neuroscientist Earl Miller states that violent video game reinforces brain areas associated with the reward system – making the player experience pleasure in being violent.   Ultimately with both activities, (multitasking and violent video games) people tend to become less patient, tenacious, focused, discerning, and solution-oriented which negatively affects their intimate relationships.

People with low empathy tend to have more negative emotions, poor self-regulation, high aggressiveness, and antisocial behaviour. They may also have a distorted view of reality in which they do not feel a sense of safety (i.e., a fight or flight mode).

One way of cultivating empathy and enhancing our ability to focus our attention is through mindful meditation. Three simple steps to some Buddhist and Christian meditation practices are: 1) sustain undivided attention on another person; 2) imagine what that person’s perspective might be and ; 3) stimulate the biochemistry of altruism.

Therefore there are three components to mindfulness: intention, attention, and attitude.  Spirituality and Religion and Professor Craig S. Cashwell Ph.D. explain that mindfulness “a state of being attentive to experience that is characterized by an attitude of openness and acceptance of experience.” Therefore the person moves from a “doing” mode to a “being” totally present in the moment.

Also, American theology professor Wesley J. Wildman Ph.D. promotes psychotherapy and continuous intellectual training to forge new pathways that can override low empathic predispositions.  The human brain is plastic even at an advanced age, and we still have the capacity to rewire ourselves.

Empathy is an emotion that we all have the capacity to experience cognitively, emotionally, and physically.  However, our upbringing, sex, gender, and some activities (violent media) can hinder our ability to be empathic.  Empathy promotes pro-social behaviour and is essential for our intimate relationships.

There are ways to cultivate our natural empathic tendencies, and mindful meditation is one of them. By simply being with another person and giving them our undivided attention, we give the priceless gift of seeing the world through their eyes.

Literary Truths

Here are various kinds of empathy:

• Ethnocultural empathy:  “encompasses the level of empathy people have toward diverse cultures and ethnicities.” (Psychologist Nicole L. Cundiff Ph.D.)

• Intellectual empathy: “the ability to understand a racially or ethnically different person’s thinking and/or feeling, and to perceive the world as the other person does.” (Psychologist Y.W. Wang Ph.D.)

• Subjective empathy: to momentarily imagine experiencing first-hand what it is like to be someone else. (Dr. Arthur J. Clark professor of Counseling & Human Development)

• Interpersonal empathy: understanding someone’s experience as they report it to us (Dr. Arthur J. Clark professor of Counseling & Human Development)

• Objective empathy: “the use of theoretically informed observational data and reputable sources in the service of understanding a person” An example is a diagnostic classification manual. (Dr. Arthur J. Clark professor of Counseling & Human Development)

• Empathic anger: “is felt in a situation where someone else is being hurt by another person or thing.” (Wikipedia)

Truth in Motion

References

Cashwell, Craig S., and Paige Bentley Greason. “Mindfulness and counseling self-efficacy: the mediating role of attention and empathy.” Counselor Education and Supervision Sept. 2009: 2.

Clark, Arthur J. “Empathy: an integral model in the counseling process.” Journal of Counseling and Development 88.3 (2010): 348.

Frias, Maria Dolores, et al. “Are women more empathetic than men? A longitudinal study in adolescence.” Spanish Journal of Psychology 12.1 (2009): 76.

Irimia, Corneliu. “Empathy as a source of attitude change.” Contemporary Readings in Law and Social Justice 2.2 (2010): 319.

Kunz, Sandra Costen. “Empathy, intimacy, attention, and meditation: an introduction.” Buddhist-Christian Studies 29 (2009): 55

Ochoa, Emily. “Empathetic vibrations.” American Scholar 81.3 (2012): 13.

Wikipedia – Empathy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy