Erotic Fantasies

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Imagine the following scene:

“Jenise slowly unlocked his manacled wrists. Perhaps she had made a mistake. Gian was much more imposing standing before her, unchained! … He expertly cornered her. His large hands reaching under her hood, tossing it back…. “Turn and face the wall.” … A deep growling sound of hunger issued from the male throat behind her…. She had made a mistake. A grievous mistake! … Frantic, she tried to turn … but he held her immobile…. A sound of despair flowed from her mouth…. A snarl escaped his lips, a cross between anger and satisfaction…. Decisively, he thrust forward….”

This paragraph is an excerpt from the book titled Mine to Take (1998) by Dara Joy, an award-winning fantasy writer.  The heroine, Jenise, decides to unchain the handsome Gian in the hope of escaping the advances of another man.  As soon as Gian is liberated, he forcefully takes her.

As predictable and unrealistic these stories may seem, they allow millions of women in North America to escape into another world.  For example, according to Romance Writers of America in 2012, sales of romance novels were around $1.34 billion in the United States.  Although about 90% of readers of these books are women, it is fair to say that both women and men tend to imagine themselves in sexually arousing scenarios or sexual fantasies.

Segen’s Medical Dictionary defines a sexual fantasy as “an erotic yearning or constellation of mental images that evoke sexual arousal”. These fantasies may be a more accurate reflection of a person’s sexuality as they are free of social conventions.

Our sexual fantasies may include past memories, future plans, activities that a person wants or may not want to experience in reality, or sudden daydreams. They may involve various/elaborate clothing, exotic locations, an elaborate storyline, a fleeting thought, and scenarios used during masturbation or sexual intercourse.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, sexual fantasies are regarded as a normal part of healthy adult sex life, and a lack of them may be an indicator of low sexual desire.

Like most people, you may need to be very comfortable with another person before revealing your erotic fantasies.  Although the Western World tends to be more tolerant of various expressions of sexuality, there are still taboos linked to certain types of erotic fantasies such as homosexuality or sadomasochism.

In order to bypass his study subjects’ reticence to reveal their sexual fantasies, American Psychologist Christopher T. Burris Ph.D. asked them to reveal these fantasies on behalf of their “hidden observer” (or the part of them that knows their deepest secrets). The recounts became more explicit, erotic, and detailed. Burris hypothesized that the “hidden observer” prompted the subjects to be accountable to themselves instead of the researchers.

Swedish Psychologist Sven A. Bood, Ph.D., suggests that there is a link between someone’s emotional health and the frequency of sexual fantasies.  Based on Bood’s research, individuals who are very emotional and have an anxious attachment to their partners tend to have more erotic fantasies.  These fantasies may satisfy a need for security, intimacy, and affirmation.   Also, these internal images may be an outlet for a desire for novelty, variety, and the expression of anger.

There are differences between men and women in terms of the themes and frequency of their erotic fantasies.  According to American researcher Ara Wilson Ph.D., men fantasize more often and tend to have fantasies about simultaneous multiple partners, anonymous strangers, being the dominant party, and rape (raping or being raped).

On the other hand, women tend to have sexual fantasies about famous people, women, acquaintances, friends, being passive, and subjected to sexual acts.

American Psychologist Patricia H. Hawley Ph.D. studied submissive sexual fantasies in both men and women. According to Hawley, men have a greater preference for submissive themes than women, although they were still more attracted to powerful females.  Also, men who were more neurotic tended to fantasize about being dominated by women.  All of the female subjects studied preferred to have erotic fantasies about dominant males, but dominant females were especially drawn to powerful men.

Hawley further explains that the dominant man in women’s erotic fantasies is not a brute/rapist – he forces himself on the female fantasist because she is sexually irresistible. This man is also virile, sexually potent, attentive, faithful, loving, wealthy, in a position of authority, and generous with a penchant for fatherhood.  Therefore, the woman gains social status and many other practical advantages in forming a lasting bond with her imaginary dominant man.

Imagination plays an important role in most people’s sexual lives.  The booming American romance novel industry proves that for millions of women, erotic fantasies fulfill an essential need to escape into an exciting world.

Sexual fantasies are as varied as there are individuals.  However, some differences have been observed between men and women.  For example, men prefer erotic fantasies that involve multiple partners, strangers, and rape; whereas women tend to fantasize about encounters with a known partner in a romantic setting.

Sexual fantasies are therefore a way to enhance our experience of sex, but also a window into a hidden (and naughty) part of ourselves!

Literary Truths

Here are some interesting facts about romance novels and rape fantasies:

• Sales of romance novels: from 2007-2011, romance fiction was the second top-performing category of books sold in the United States. Sales peaked during the 2008-2009 economic downturn. (Romance Writers of America, 2012)

• Varied story plotlines: romance writers are become more creative by tackling issues such as Nascar, transgender issues, the Amish, and Mennonites. (The Daily Beast, 2010)

• Erotic rape fantasies: the fantasist’s non-consent of the attacker’s advances is feigned or token.  There is a high level of sexual arousal.  The self-character is physically restrained by the attacker.  The perpetrator is often a very attractive partner or ex-partner who is intensely sexually and romantically attracted to the fantasist. The self-character usually feels good at the end of the daydream. (Jenny Bivona, 2009)

• Aversive rape fantasies: the fantasist’s non-consent is genuine and is maintained throughout the encounter. There is no sexual arousal, and the self-character is often brutally physically attacked. The perpetrator is often “faceless” or an unattractive stranger whose motive is to hurt or degrade the self-character. The fantasist is left with negative feelings (i.e., guilt, shame) at the end of the fantasy. (Jenny Bivona, 2009)

• Erotic–aversive rape fantasies: the fantasist’s consent changes from willing to resistant. The self-character is attacked in a way that could result in injury. The perpetrator is moderately attractive and sometimes driven by the physical and romantic allure of the fantasist. The self-character often has a mixture of positive and negative feelings at the end of the imaginary scenario. (Jenny Bivona, 2009)

References

Bivona, Jenny, and Joseph Critelli. “The nature of women’s rape fantasies: an analysis of prevalence, frequency, and contents.” The Journal of Sex Research Jan.-Feb. 2009: 33.

Bood, Sven A., Mathias Carlstedt, and Torsten Norlander. “The affective personality and its relation to sexual fantasies in regard to the Wilson sex fantasy questionnaire.” Psychology [Irvine] 2.8 (2011): 792.

Burris, Christopher T., and Stefanie Mathes. “Digging in my secret garden: disinhibitory effects of the ‘hidden observer’ on reported sexual fantasies.” The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality 20.4 (2011): 143.

The Daily Beast

DeCicco, Teresa L., Terry P. Humphreys, and David B. King. “Investigating sexual dream imagery in relation to daytime sexual behaviours and fantasies among Canadian university students.” The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality 18.3 (2009): 135.

Hawley, Patricia H., and William A. Hensley, IV. “Social dominance and forceful submission fantasies: feminine pathology or power?” The Journal of Sex Research Nov.-Dec. 2009: 568.

Wikipedia – Sexual Fantasy