Matthew Hussey – Get The Guy

October 3, 2014 Personal Growth, Relationships No Comments

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A few months ago, I stumbled on a Youtube video by British television personality, author, and human dynamics coach Matthew Hussey. Although Hussey is only 27-years old, he brings a fresh and insightful perspective in the area of human relationships and self-improvement.

The best-selling author is the creator of the popular GetTheGuy dating advice for women programs and the Love Life radio show. The following is a sample of questions and answers about romantic relationships on this radio show.

Q: About 6 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. All the elements of the relationship are still intact except that we are no longer officially romantically involved. Should I end any contact with him or continue with this casual relationship?

A: Since you want a commitment and he doesn’t want one, keeping him in your life will not lead you to your goal. The only reason you’re presently keeping him in your life is for some temporary pleasure.

You feel rejected which is a painful and normal reaction. He is not setting you free to give you time to heal because he is more concerned about his short-term pleasure.

Therefore he is acting in a selfish way. You should question his intentions and why you want to be in a relationship with someone who has stopped investing in you.

I suggest that you protect your own interests and end contact with him. However, be calm when you tell him about your decision to keep your lives separate. By being friendly and undramatic, you will destabilize him and communicate that you’re strong and building an interesting life without him.

Q: I’m an entrepreneur who prides herself on being a very independent woman. My body language often keeps men at bay. How can I stay independent while allowing a man to help me?

A: There are three types of women. The first type is “prissy” because she relies too much on others. The second type is too self-sufficient and refuses any help from anybody. The third type of woman has found the right balance between self-reliance and asking for support when needed.

As an entrepreneur, when your business will grow to a point where you have a large number of clients, you will need to hire help to effectively service them. The best CEOs in the world understand that in order to grow their business, they have to hire more employees to serve them. These CEOs reach out and ask for help.

We all require a variety of people in our lives – friends, family, co-workers… etc – to meet a wide range of needs. And the same concept is applicable to your love life.

When you go out, make yourself more approachable by looking people in the eye and having a friendly expression. Focus on positive thoughts that energize you. Also when you first meet people, try to lightly touch their forearm to establish rapport. In addition, you can pay them a genuine compliment. In other words, you make yourself approachable by having the mindset of wanting to give value instead of trying to impress by being in a “business mode”.

Therefore, there is nothing weak about asking for help. In fact, it makes you much stronger to allow yourself to be served. Also, needing someone doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t be able to survive without them because you are a strong woman. The worst-case scenario is that someone refuses to help you. Then, you will need to ask another person who can live up to your standards in life.

Q: Can men and women just be friends?

A: When we are in a relationship with someone, we tend to be uncomfortable with the thought of them having friends of the opposite sex. We can worry that this attraction will grow beyond mere friendship.

There is an unrealistic assumption that our partner will never be or shouldn’t be attracted to someone else. We try to suppress a natural tendency in our partner to be attracted to appealing qualities in others.

We are friends with certain individuals because we perceive them to be in some aspects (physically, intellectually, or emotionally) attractive. But the fact that we can appreciate the beauty in its many forms in others, doesn’t mean that we are less loyal to our mates.

When there are many attractive people in your circle of friends, and your mate still chooses you, it is a strong indication of their genuine commitment to you.

The self-help industry is flooded each year with new coaches, speakers, and gurus who try to build a following. Although young, Matthew Hussey is part of a new generation of relationship experts who bring a fresh perspective to our love lives.

His Love Life radio show gives an opportunity to his fans to receive live advice from him. Hussey’s insightful and witty answers to these questions demonstrate that he has both the passion and the knowledge to succeed in this very competitive market.

Literary Truth

According to Matthew Hussey here’s how we can overcome jealousy:

• Avoid comparison: Any kind of jealousy that we experience comes from comparing ourselves to another person; we compare what we possess versus what they possess.

• Be realistic: In any single area where we possess some talent/strength, there is always going to be someone, somewhere who can outperform us.

• Focus on your overall strengths: Everybody is different and we each possess a combination of talents/strengths that no other person has. Therefore we can rest assured that we are unique and not easily replaceable.

• Diversify your talents/strengths: By growing in many areas of our lives, we will have more to offer and become more confident. These strengths can be on many levels (physically, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually).

• Accept rejection gracefully: If we are a well-rounded person, and our partner still leaves us for someone else, this means that the relationship was not meant to be. Therefore our partner is genuinely more compatible with that other person, and we should let them go gracefully.

Truth in Motion