Private Matters TV: Sexy After Cancer

April 30, 2014 Personal Growth, Relationships No Comments

Let’s Talk!

I recently stumbled on an intriguing television program titled Private Matters TV.Â This program is hosted by Holland born producer Max J. Van Praag and covers unusual topics such as bondage/discipline, polyamory, group marriage, and tantra. Private Matters is broadcasted on Channel 26 in Marin County, California, and some of its 40 episodes can be viewed on Youtube.

Among the many interesting interviews done by Van Praag, one episode titled â€œSexy After Cancerâ€ stands out.Â His guest was Barbara Musser, a sex educator and specialist working with people, women in particular, who had cancer.Â The name of her business and the book she recently wrote are appropriately titled Sexy After Cancer.

Musser focuses on helping the great number of people who suffer from a severe illness (i.e., depression or heart disease) that interfere with their ability to have sexual pleasure.Â She uses cancer as a doorway because 24 years ago, she also battled and won the fight against breast cancer. She believes that one can be sexy before, during, and after cancer.

According to her, sex and intimacy can be used to battle cancer because they are pleasurable and life-affirming. Although during active chemotherapy treatment a person may feel too weak to be sexually active, they can still enjoy emotional intimacy.

She also believes that our sexual energy is our life force.Â Unfortunately, chemotherapy tends to depress hormone production in women and men, which has a significant negative impact on sexuality. Hormone suppression reduces blood flow to the genital tissue, and the sexual arousal cycle is closely linked to blood flow.

The effect of cancer on people is complex.Â For example, a woman with breast cancer may have chemotherapy and major surgery to remove her breasts.Â In this situation she is nauseous, her hair falls out, and she barely survives the treatments.Â The last thing on her mind is sex or at least intercourse.

If she has a partner, he doesnâ€™t want to hurt her, upset her, or impose his needs on her.Â Therefore he doesnâ€™t talk about it, and they gradually grow apart.

She now has to recover from the wounds and then deal with the fact that in North America, breasts are an important symbol of femininity.Â Breasts are also linked to sexiness and are a source of sexual pleasure for women.

Treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation suppress sexual hormone production. This results in the drying up of genital tissue.Â The genitals become friable, very delicate, and tear up easily. Sex play that involves the genitals becomes painful, and the woman shies away from it. Furthermore, the urge to have sex (i.e., the libido) subsides and when taken all together, cancer can be very traumatic.

That is why many women and men who undergo cancer treatments dissociate physically from their bodies as a coping mechanism.Â And of course, itâ€™s difficult to have fulfilling sex when one has disconnected from oneâ€™s body.

For men who have had prostate cancer, the surgery to remove cancer often causes significant peripheral nerve damage. Furthermore, chemotherapy suppresses the sexual hormones and this results in erection problems because their penis is not receiving normal blood flow.

Although he may not be aware of them, a healthy man has about 4 to 6 erections a day. Within 6 to 8 weeks after surgery to his genitalia, a man needs to rehabilitate these organs either with the help of a sexual partner or a vacuum device to stimulate blood flow to the penis.Â If left untreated, scar tissue quickly forms around the penis and he will be permanently impotent. Luckily, women can usually rehabilitate their genitals long after cancer treatments.

It is therefore important to have strong muscles and to stay fit. This helps increase blood flow all over the body.Â Thatâ€™s why Musser and her partner, also a cancer survivor, facilitate weekend retreats during which they teach couples about genital massage for both men and women.

Â Musser created a program named Vaginal Renewal Program to successfully rehabilitate womenâ€™s genitals within weeks. Itâ€™s a combination of three things: 1) moisturizing the tissue with a moisturizing lubricant; 2) external massage (light pinching) to move the blood and lymph fluids all through the vulva and the perineal tissue; 3) the use of a vibrating wand to massage inside the vagina.

For men, there are two techniques to rehabilitate their genitalia. First, there is the massage of the perineum, penis, scrotum, the upper thighs, and whole pelvic area. Second, there are vacuum devices designed to stimulate blood flow.Â Third, is the use of a low dose of Cialis, Viagra, or Levitra because these medications also stimulate blood flow to the penis.

Rehabilitation also includes an emotional and spiritual component. People often need to forgive. They need to forgive their bodies for betraying them.Â They have to forgive their doctor for changing their bodies, or they need to forgive God for giving them this disease. They also need to forgive themselves for being human.

Musser teaches men and women to focus on the journey of sex instead of the narrow goal of quick orgasm.Â It is also about using the mind, (our biggest sex organ) to create fantasies, reading and writing erotica, and sexy talk.

Private Matters TV is a platform for intimate interviews with individuals who often go against the grain in the area of human sexuality. Sex educator, author, and cancer survivor Barbara Musser is one of them.Â She dares to discuss ways for people who are seriously ill to have a fulfilling sex life.

Musser looks at the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of recovery for both men and women who suffer for a wide range of diseases. She believes that with the right tools, everyone can be sexy before, during, and after cancer.

Letâ€™s hope that there will be many more episodes of Private Matters TV, so we can all benefit from looking at sex and human relationships from a fresh perspective.

Interested in learning more about Barbara Musser’s work?Â Check her website at www.SexyAfterCancer.com.

Interested in learning about intimacy and another type of cancer (Mesothelioma)? Check this article: https://mesothelioma.net/intimacy-living-mesothelioma/

Literary Truths

Here are other interesting facts about recovery from a serious illness as per Barbara Musserâ€™s interview:

40-90% of women who undergo cancer treatments have sexual issues. 20 years after treatment, 50% of them still do. These statistics may be similar to men’s.

Musser has worked with many people with heart disease. She has counseled some people with diabetes, one person with multiple sclerosis, and an individual with cerebral palsy.

Women who had their ovaries removed or are menopausal can greatly benefit from Musserâ€™s Vaginal Renewal Program.

Most doctors are not trained in human sexuality. They do not tell their patients that the chemotherapy and the radiation may have a negative effect on their sexual health.