Let’s Talk!
“Talking about kissing is like humming about fire. Words are insufficient to describe the experience. Still, we try, because kissing is an experience that must be shared.” The Kiss p.4
The above excerpt is from a miniature book appropriately titled The Kiss. The book is a collection of beautiful photographs of kissing couples and quotes that make one wonder about the function and importance of the romantic kiss.
Let’s explore this idea…
According to Wikipedia, the word “kiss” originates from the Old English word cyssan which in turn comes from coss. To kiss is to press “one’s lips against another person or an object”.
Humans have been kissing for at least five thousand years. The Sumer is the earliest literate civilization in the world to mention kissing in its poetry using both lips and tongue.
It is still unclear whether kissing is learned or instinctive behaviour. Some anthropologists point to the fact that kissing may have derived from grooming behaviour observed in other animals or arising from mothers pre-masticating food for their offspring. Other non-human primates also exhibit kissing behaviour.
Deep human kiss (or French kiss) is very similar to kiss-feeding. In the latter, the mother’s tongue pushes the pre-masticated food into the child’s mouth, while the child receives the food on the mother’s tongue in a sucking motion. The main difference between these two types of kissing is the absence of food in the French kiss.
Kissing requires the coordination of 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles. The orbicularis oris muscle is the main muscle required to pucker the lips. In French kissing, the tongue adds other sensations because it contains many nerve endings that are sensitive to touch and bite.
Depending on the culture, a kiss can express a wide variety of emotions from love, passion, joy to friendship, respect, and fondness. In a romantic context, kissing involves the combination of sensations of touch, taste, and smell.
Kissing often requires an intimate setting. Couples usually isolate themselves from others in order to connect and kiss. If it is inconvenient or not possible to find a private place to kiss, couples may create a sense of intimacy in a public place by blocking other stimuli and totally focus on each other while kissing.
According to psychology professor Elaine Hatfield, kissing is not universal and sometimes is negatively perceived. In fact, about 10% of the world population doesn’t kiss because, among other reasons, it is perceived as unhygienic and may cause harm on a psychic level.
For example in certain areas of Sudan, people believe that the mouth is the portal to the soul, and kissing may invite death or their spirits may be stolen through their mouths.
In some cultures, kissing was uncommon until European colonization. For instance, populations of Sub-Saharan Africa, Asia, Polynesia, and First Nations did not emphasize kissing.
By contrast in the United States, kissing is the second most common form of expression of intimacy amongst teens after holding hands. In fact, 85% of 15 to 16 year-olds have experienced kissing.
One can contract certain contagious diseases through kissing such as cold sores and mononucleosis when the virus is present in the saliva. However, kissing may have positive effects on our romantic relationships and health.
Ph.D. student Rafael Wlodarski and psychology professor Robin Dunbar Ph.D. from Oxford University recently conducted a study of 902 men and women from North America and Europe to investigate the impact of kissing on both short-term and long-term relationships.
According to Dunbar, women tend to value kissing more than men. Attractive men and women who usually have more short-term relationships, rate kissing as more important than their average-looking counterparts.
Dunbar explained this preference for kissing for these men and women in terms of them being in a position of being more selective of potential long-term partners. Also, women tended to enjoy kissing more near ovulation as they were more likely to conceive and required more information to select a healthy mate. Therefore kissing may be a way to assess the overall health of their date, especially for the women.
In short-term relationships, kissing was most important before sex, less so during sex and after sex or at other times. By contrast, individuals in committed relationships reported that kissing was important at all times.
Kissing in long-term relationships was a way to express affection and attachment to one’s partner. Also, the amount of kissing was positively correlated with the quality of their relationships.
Interestingly, although kissing may trigger sexual arousal (especially as a prelude to sex), it is not the main reason why these couples kissed.
According to communications professor Kory Floyd Ph.D. of Arizona State University, kissing may have some health benefits.
After studying 52 couples for 6 weeks, Floyd reported that the couples who kissed more were less stressed and more satisfied with their relationships. This effect may be due to the increased production of oxytocin (the bonding hormone) which has a calming effect on the body.
Furthermore, their low-density lipoprotein cholesterol levels (the “bad” kind) decreased compared to the control group. The “kissing” couples were naturally motivated to exercise more, argue less, minimize conflict, and better understand their partner.
Interestingly, kissing often warms our heart and is good for the health of the heart. When we kiss, it causes the adrenal glands to release epinephrine and norepinephrine into the blood, creating an adrenaline rush. This rush has a beneficial effect on the cardiovascular system as the heart pumps faster.
Kissing has been part of human history for several millennia. This behaviour is found in most cultures around the world, although it remains uncertain whether kissing is instinctual.
Young and older couples enjoy kissing at all stages of courtship. Kissing may be a way to select a healthy partner, but also to maintain the harmony of a romantic relationship and improve one’s health.
There is more to be learned about the kiss. But however more we learn about the technical and scientific aspects of it, the effect of a romantic kiss will always retain some mystery.
Literary Truths
Here are other interesting facts about kissing:
- The film The Kiss (1896) was the first American silent movie to show a kissing scene. The kiss lasted 30 seconds and provoked outrage among conservative critics.
- Since 1763, a kiss in written correspondence has been represented by an “X”.
- One can fake a screen or stage kiss by using the thumbs as a barrier for the lips and turning so that the audience is unable to fully see the act.
- The Guinness World record for the longest kiss belongs to Ekkachai and Laksana Tiranarat from Bangkok, Thailand. On 14 February 2013, they kissed for 58 hours, 35 minutes, and 58 seconds.
- Based on an experiment by Dr. Alexander DeWees, a passionate kiss burns up to 2–3 calories per minute.
Truth in Motion
References
Kiss – Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiss
The New York Times- Now a Kiss Isn’t Just a Kiss: https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/28/now-a-kiss-isnt-just-a-kiss/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_php=true&_type=blogs&_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=2
Oxford University – Kissing Helps Us Find the Right Partner and Keep Them
Picture 2: https://static.ynaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/couple-kissing.jpg
Psychology Today – The Kiss of Health: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201207/the-kiss-health
Running Press. The Kiss – A Romantic Treasury of Photographs and Quotes. Philadelphia: Running Press Book Publisher, 1992.